Human beings as sexual beings

Question: How do I understand myself or general human beings as sexual beings, and how do I live as sexual being?

Reflecting on what I already knew and what I have learned about sexuality, I think that firstly my method is changing, it is not the way of collecting more information and knowledge, but reconstruction of some things which is already there in me, some concepts or some perception I have had before now are reformed. Surely one of them is sexuality. It is somehow not easy, because the word which is the translation of ‘sexuality’ in Vietnamese language impressed my mind, it frames my thought. On this reflection paper, I do step by step to answers the question above.

1. How do I understand myself or general human beings as sexual beings?

My understanding of myself and my sexuality still be on the way of becoming, which is influenced by many thought and many tradition. With what I have understood of sexuality, I think that my being or general human beings is as sexual beings.

Firstly, sexuality is an expression of human beings in term of  embodiment. In other word, being is as a sexual being in term of physically. I am a being, it means that I am living in the cycle of life which is in me and as a substance of me, I am a part of the living universe, the living Beings. So physically I am in cycle of reproduction, there is sexual energy in me so that I keep life continued by cooperate to bare new life. I have sexual desire, there is sexual orientation in me, I am as male so I am attracted by female, by their beauty, and their body. This energy is in me as an instinct. I also have some kind of desire to have intercourse or intimacy with girl. Moreover, as a being in the whole self, feeling and emotion are parts of me. I cannot separate my body out of my being, and ignore my body with my feeling and emotion, or think of it negatively. These tendency is naturally myself.

In addition, sexuality is the way of being in reality or in particular society. In every society, each general one has their own role. These role are related to their gender or to social concept on how I should think, feel and act. So, the way in which being exists is always influenced by social construction, and depended on gender. For each gender undertake their position, and authority, and way of life. I have to learn what I can say, what kind of clothes I wear, How do I react, etc.

Moreover, sexuality is the way that being is as a being in the interconnected universe. Because sexuality is the connecting energy, forcing being to go out, to connect with other beings. Using the Taoism view of reality, every being is interconnected to each other and to the whole. I am a being means that I am interconnected being; all beings are interconnected physically, biologically, socially, and interconnected in substance. It is suitable here to think of love which is an aspect of sexuality, Love is also a connecting energy in order to connect beings. It makes being go forward and being happy. So in the light of Gospel, I can see that God is love as substance of universe, uniting all beings.

2. How do I live as a sexual beings?

Understanding myself as a sexual being inspires me something not only in my mind but also in my behavior, my way of life.

Reflecting on myself, importantly I think that I have to pay attention more to my emotion, It means that I have to know more about some basic emotion and feeling, my body sensation, and what are my tendencies. So that I am aware of myself better and have a clear outlook of myself. Then I know what are good points and what are weaknesses to improve. I shall be humble and open to know myself through the help of the people around. I am honest to accept that of my sexual tendency, my desire; it is part of my self, it is myself.

In addition, in the perception that I am the process of wholistic, means becoming. I cannot ignore or unevaluated any part, especially sexuality. I am the whole person. What is my whole, weak,… and mistakes in the past. I bring them into my prayer to embrace them as Jesus embrace me. For if I am comfortable with my shadow I will have no fear, fear the things I hide being showed, fear that people see my shadow.

Being aware of my sexuality is aware that the way I express myself is being interconnected with others and with the world naturally. I am on the way to know and become myself full when I keep in touch with others, I cannot be an island. I live as interconnected being when I inter-dialogue with others, collaborate, cooperate, I care and think of others in my thought and choice.

In summary, learning from the journey of reflection the history of sexuality, I should reconstruct somethings which I have gotten about sexuality with opened mind. I think that sexuality is the fundamental part of my personality, is a way of being, self-expression, in which my being is my body, my emotion and feeling, my gender, and my interconnection with the world. So I have to learn to embrace my whole being, and care more of emotion and feeling, whatever they are, and accept it. Hopefully, my dream of understanding and coming to my true self is in an ongoing process.