Suggestion:
Interview two of your friends, man and woman. What are problems regarding to
married life, particularly in Vietnam Society? What are reasons leading to the
divorce which is increasing nowadays?
My interview with some of my friends can be sum up into
three main questions below.
1. What are
difficulties and challenges in married life which you are facing or in other
families?
-
There are so much difficulty.
-
There is much pressure when living with
husband’s mom and relatives. Because they slander, blame, and backbite. That
makes her be in crisis and even leads her to think of divorce.
-
Unbalance between the couple in social position,
knowledge, and economic
-
Difficulty in case of finding job, house, and
obligation of taking care child.
-
Crisis in year of 3 -5 after marry. True self
has explored, strengthen and weakness. How to handle many relations, to people,
to job, to society in new role,
-
Unharmonious in sex intimacy.
-
Life value and marriage values – education.
2. What are reasons
leading to the divorce which is increasing nowadays?
-
Perception of obligation in married life has
become weak. They speak of some kinds of ‘freedom’.
-
The role of our tradition (shameness) has become
weak too. They do not care much for the blame of others, neighbor.
-
One of the couple or the couple does not faithful.
-
Cannot compassionate and respect to each other.
Instead of blaming and have some uncaring behavior.
-
Domestic violence, drunken husband, patriarchy. Over
any ability of acceptation.
-
Losing the sense of faithful life, forget the
holly connection between the couple at the very beginning at wedding mass.
3. What is the
meaning of married life and solutions to deal with difficulties?
- The best way to deal with the misunderstanding
is that of discourse, sharing, humbleness, patience, and sacrifice. Spend time
together. In trouble no action!
- Pre-married education. Continue accompany in the
first five years after marrying.
o
After marriage, the common life and the private
life
o
Marriage is not only to love, but including obligation,
child raising and education. Roles.
- Openly and authentically sharing: mistake,
fault, expectation, to love is to accept who they are.
- Energy to overcome difficult and keep the
married vow is thinking of children, sometimes it is the only and power reason
the keep the married life.
- Preserving married life is when we think of the
obligation to each other, to child, and to relatives.
